Sneaking into the cemetery on a High Holy Day

So, Corey’s 6 month anniversary fell on the last day of Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. All Jewish cemeteries are closed on High Holy Days. This did not stop me from visiting, as I just couldn’t imagine not going if I happened to be in town, which I was. So, I parked the Smart car in the driveway & made the long walk to the back of the cemetery, where he is laid to rest. It was a peaceful walk. I always find myself at peace in that cemetery, which I’m sure seems weird, but it’s a beautiful piece of land, it’s quiet, there are birds singing & love all around in every direction you look. The tradition of setting stones on the headstones to me is so beautiful. I just find peace there, until I get to the back. Then all the other emotions come up.
I think I may still be in some sort of shock that it’s actually been 6 months since his passing. There is a part of my brain that just can’t seem to comprehend such a thing. There are many things on my mind, most of which I won’t even bother to post here, because I just don’t see a point anymore. I just wonder sometimes if Corey is ever going to get a chance to rest in peace with all the turmoil surrounding him, his death & his memory. I feel for everyone who is grieving, but taking it out on each other will do no good for Corey or anyone else. That’s just how I feel about it.

Again I spent some time pulling weeds, but I was pleased to see it wasn’t nearly as bad this time. Not much to say about my visit, I laid with his body, I spoke to him, placed the remaining stones from Lilith Fair & then I said goodbye & left.

I’m starting to question the reason or point of this blog anymore. I get a lot of grief for it. That was never my intention. I’m not gonna shut it down. I just don’t know if I can take the scrutiny that I get for sharing my love & my thoughts about Corey. Personally, I think that if someone doesn’t like what I have to say, then they shouldn’t read my blog, but we all know that’s not the world we live in & they will continue to read. So, I think I may take a break from writing here for a while. I’m sad. I’m hurt. I’m angry. I’m still mourning. I know I’ll be back, I just don’t know when.

As always, I have added a couple of references to the Jewish faith for those who aren’t familiar. This time I shared a link regarding Rosh Hashana & also pasted a paragraph regarding leaving stones on the grave, which I think I already posted in another blog, but thought to add again. I also included a video tribute I finally broke down & made for Corey. It’s simple, as I’ve never done one before. It is what it is.

Visiting the gravesite

Some have a custom to visit the cemetery on fast days (Shulchan Aruch Orach Chayim 559:10) and before Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur (581:4, 605), when possible, and for a Yahrzeit. During the first year the grave may be visited on the shloshim, and the yartzeit.

Even when visiting Jewish graves of someone that the visitor never knew, he or she may place a small stone at the graveside. This shows that someone visited the graveside, and represents permanence. Leaving flowers is not a traditional Jewish practice. Another reason for leaving stones is tending the grave. In Biblical times, gravestones were not used; graves were marked with mounds of stones (a kind of cairn), so by placing (or replacing) them, one perpetuated the existence of the site. This was also helpful for Cohanim, who needed to avoid spiritual impurity that could be passed on by corpses/graves

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